“I can’t wait to fuck you.”

Copper Creek (2011)

Global warming sucks. Polar bears are starving, giant, country-sized chunks of ice are floating off like rogue pirates, and droughts are worse than ever before. Where I live, that’s the big problem. The droughts have resulted in the loosest soil we’ve ever seen. The kind of soil you don’t want your sons dating. When the wind picks up (as it does during our monsoon season), it creates haboobs- dust storms the like of which we’ve never seen. They cause a great deal of property damage, carry disease, and, perhaps worst of all, get my car really dirty.

This is the kind of shit we're dealing with.

Can you guess what decided to happen on the drive to Practicallymexico, AZ?

Yeah, I braved that shit. I risked life and limb, driving in near-zero visibility just so that I could make it to the world premier of Copper Creek. And it was totally worth it.

The film tells the story of a small town with an interesting history. It used to be a thriving mining community, but that was before the good townspeople were forced to seal up the mine shafts in order to trap legions of the undead inside. Decades later, an asshole developer (who, by the way, wants to fuck you) decides to come in and reopen the mines. It’s up to a lone, spurned-by-his-whore-of-a-wife sheriff to save the world.

This movie is low budget filmmaking at its finest. The dialogue is clever as hell and the story is highly imaginative, and even moderately offensive. It’s brilliant.

My favorite scene in the entire film, I think, was a small rap video-like montage of a couple of small time robbers living the high life- complete with Russian roulette, prostitutes, sexual perversion, and giant bags of cocaine. It was like an ASU frat party.

This movie is epic and hilarious. A must see.

Director: Peter Leon

Written by: Peter Leon, J. Patrick Ohlde

Actors of note: Nick Fimbers, Jaime Eldredge, J. Patrick Ohlde, Charles Lynch, Daniel Samson, Jeffrey Stephenson, Maureen Mullaly, Mikal Mullaly, Katie Mullaly

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About Caris O'Malley

My name is Caris O’Malley. I am a writer, a horror film aficionado, a librarian, a dad, and kind of an asshole. I ride a bicycle and, occasionally, wear a hat. You can find my book, The Egg Said Nothing, on Amazon.com. I can be reached at carisomalley (at) gmail.com.
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2 Responses to “I can’t wait to fuck you.”

  1. Sgt. Flardface of the North says:

    Sounds awesome! I like legions of undead. Dude, you need to update the “About Caris”part.

  2. *sigh*

    You’re probably right. I should update that shit at least once a year.

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